Wouldn't Have Had it Any Other Way

Six years! I know time flies right? I can still remember shaking and crying and taking a deep breathe followed by long walk down the aisle arm and arm with my mom and dad. There he was and how I love more and more each day. Okay, okay, I just heard someone vomit.

This day was more than just an anniversary for me. June 6th, 2010 was the day I got to share with Sean and Jeanine, their beautiful wedding. They chose me to be their photographer! Not only did I shoot the wedding, I photographed her bridal shower and rehearsal. Over those three days I got to become very close with both families and their friends. I was there for the memory sharing, the laughter, and the very personal moments. I couldn't help but fall in love with the story of how the two met and how they know everything about each other and all they wanted to do was get married. They didn't care about the flowers, the center pieces, the color scheme, or the wedding cake. All they cared about was each other; the two becoming one.   I watched as her sister cried happy tears, so proud of her big sis for taking this next step in her journey through life. I watched as her little cousin looked dreamy eyed at this beautiful bride in her white dress, imagining her wedding one day. I watched as the couple stood hand in hand awaiting their kiss as husband and wife and I watched as her dad let go of his little girl, stepping aside with tears in eyes. I watched this beautiful ritual unfold all threw my lens. I hear a lot that people don't like to take pictures during events like these because they fear they is to much. I have to say that I disagree. Threw my lens I get a close up view, a focused look at honesty. I am the one who gets to capture such personal and intimate moments that others seem to miss.

Although I was having a wonderful time capturing these candid moments, I couldn't wait to get home to spend the rest of the night with my husband....but I am not quite there yet so hold your horses.

What a fun reception! Music, dancing, eating, clanking glasses, and smiles everywhere. My time was almost finished and I had a few more moments to take pictures. Boy was I glad I stayed for this...no more like life works in mysterious ways. Do you ever think that everything happens for a reason or whatever just happened was meant to be? So true! So here I am shooting a wedding on my wedding anniversary when what to my wondering eyes should appear? A father giving a speech to his daughter, but it's what he said. He spoke of memory that involved Joe Cocker, You are so Beautiful, and this song being "their"song. No, I was not crying because the bride was an emotional wreck at this point, I was crying because that is the same song that my father sang to me since I was a little girl and we danced to at my wedding. But it doesn't end there. I spill more tears when the bride and groom have their dance to the same song that Brad and I shared as our first dance and all on my anniversary! I mean come on! I was meant to be the photographer for this occasion. I had 3 days to remind myself of how much i love my husband and how it is as pure as our wedding day and I found myself in tears remembering my wedding day because of some songs that have more meaning to me than words can describe.

If you are reading this Jeanine, I can't thank you enough for trusting me with your once in a lifetime day on my anniversary. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

To make a long story longer....I made it home in time to find a candle lit snack waiting for me. Icing on the cake. I managed to shower and put on my best all with a five minute nap to re-charge. We dined at the Eiffel tower with a front row view of the Bellagio fountains. I couldn't get over it. You don't understand, Brad and I usually are accident prone on our anniversary. Lost reservations, tables next to unruly children, bad service, yadda yadda you name it. Dinner was a success. After that we ended the night (well it ends here for you anyway) with La Reve. What a wonderful show! I am so lucky to have such an amazing husband and even more lucky that he such a great father. And as I sit here and discuss his amazingness....I think it was meant to be as I remember today is Father's Day. Just meant to be that's all.

Of course I wouldn't end without pictures!

Happily Ever After...The End

Lost and Found

Long time no see bloggers! I know tisk tisk, I have been MIA for a quite some time now. But I have so much to tell you. Last time I blogged I shared that I was exploring my passion for photography. I have decided to fully commit! LOST: It didn't come easy though. I have been struggling so much with my confidence. I can't tell you how many times I nock myself down with the questions I ask myself. Am I good? Do I have an eye? Will people like my pictures? Can I really make this work? FOUND: I finally had to slap myself around a little to make myself realize that it doesn't matter. I love doing it, I love my pictures, I work hard to learn new things, and I need to trust that when someone says they like my photos, they mean it. Anyway, I have been having a blast shooting babies, bellies, families, weddings, etc. You name it I will do it!

Aside from making others smile over their beautiful memories, I have been crying over some ones I was expecting. LOST: 10 weeks ago I learned that I was expecting baby number 2! I can't begin to tell you how happy we were. It was the perfect time, the perfect age difference between my first, and I just knew it would be a boy. I guess it was all too perfect. There's no such thing as perfect; I should have told , myself that. 8 weeks ago I had my first Dr. app. and we didn't see anything in the sack. The Dr. told me that I might not be as far along as I think. "Okay, see ya next week then to see our babies heart beat!" People already know, Mayley is wearing a big sis shirt and I am contemplating ways to announce it on facebook. What the heck was I thinking? Nothing is perfect remember?! 7 weeks ago I was sent to the ultra sound specialist where again they saw nothing and told me to come back in a week. "I'm sure this happens a lot, women thinking they are farther along than they are. Besides, there is a little yolk, next will be my big moment!" I keep having to explain to everyone what is happening. 6 weeks ago I went back to the specialist...nothing. I didn't hear a word the Dr. was saying after that. Blighted ovum something....1 out 6.....options....All I can do is cry and feel like I just lost a little miracle that was supposed to be in my arms 7 months from now. I was 8 weeks along growing an empty sac. That is exactly how I felt, empty. From there I had to walk to walk of pity out of office. Tears, sobbing, mascara running, in front of a room full of pregnant women. They all knew and I could see that were feeling very lucky to be bounty full with baby inside. FOUND: 2 weeks ago grieving subsided, nature took its course, and I am healing. My husband has been there right by my side assuring me that things will be fine. He is so strong and I am lucky to be able to feed off of that. He is right when he tells me to look at our beautiful healthy daughter and feel blessed that we were lucky enough to have had 1 miracle already. If we are meant to have another we will. My family is my world and without them I am lost...thank god I am found.

Picturing My Dreams

I always knew that I loved the camera. Ever since I was little, I loved to take pictures, but as the subject not the photographer. My mom had an amazing camera and took amazing pictures with it... I guess you can say it runs int he family. If you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would always answer, model. As a teenager I tried to force my path in life down that road but as fate would have it, it would steer me in another direction. I decided that sports was way more important and better for my self-esteem (seeing as how I never evolved into a 6ft. Brazilian beauty). Running lead me to Brad, Brad lead me to college, college lead me to teaching, and teaching lead me into motherhood...well Brad helped with that too. And so there I was at home with my little angel. Sure I was busy but not career busy. I found myself with time to dabble in some hobbies I had swept under the rug during my days of studying and lesson planning. As a graduation gift, my mom bought me my very first Canon 40D...in other words the mega beast of photography. I took it out of the box and started shooting. I quickly discovered that being behind the camera was what I really loved. Setting the scene and styling the shoot is where my creativity comes alive. I started out taking pictures of Mayley (she has a photo shoot for every month of her life! LOL) Then I moved on to some friends who allowed me to take photos of them. My dreams have always involved a camera and somehow my path in life has lead me yet again to photography (my mom being part of that path). The next step in my journey is coming up quickly now. I have stumbled upon the opportunity to do some real photo shoots from baby and children to maternity. I am so excited and a little nervous. Excited for the opportunity and to invest in a flash and some editing soft wear, nervous to trust my ability and have confidence in myself. Wish me luck in this part of my journey where my dreams involve pictures and my pictures involve dreams.

*Here are a few of my favorites

Always My Baby

I Let a huge sigh of air leave my body tonight as I was lying bed. Concerned, Brad nudged me as if to ask what was wrong. I couldn't help but create tears in response. My little girl, my baby, she turned 1. 12 months of memories came flooding through me so quickly that I could not even try to hold back my emotions. I had to let it out. I couldn't stop thinking about the day she was born. August 21, 2008 My little Mayley Drew was born at 7:50 AM after an excruciating but quick labor. She was a healthy 7lbs.14oz and 18.5 in. long. She was a miracle and was instantly the great love of our lives. For the first few months of her life I would stare at her and imagine what she would look like, what her personality would be like, if she would be walking all at the age of 1. I couldn't wait for that day to come. In a blink of the eye it is here...she is 1. She looks like Brad and acts like me, she is walking, and she is full of life. Although I miss her as an infant, I am enjoying all the new things she does everyday. She is always amazing us and making us laugh and smile. I continue to look forward to how she will be the next year and I know that when that year comes I will be a little sad when I reflect on the past. She might not be my infant anymore who stares at me when I hold her for a feeding but she will always be baby who hugs me and gives me kisses and one day will say, "I love you mom."

Thank you everyone for all the birthday wishes and for making Mayley's 1st b-day party a special one. Despite the rain, wind, and practically in California location, it is a day I will never forget and one I hope you all remember. She had her cake and she ate it too!

A Summer Full of Firsts!

This summer seems to be flying by...I guess that is a good thing because that means we are keeping busy. This summer has brought us so many wonderful things and so many firsts for all of us. It is definitely a summer I will never forget.

After a nice long week off Brad started his new job and he likes it! Thank God :) However, he still has to journey out the the lake every day in his truck that has no air. I know...I know we are going to buy him a new one this weekend. His very first brand new truck!

I will be finishing my summer school class on Thursday!!! yay! It has been a hard 5 weeks of work but its finally over and I can relax without having to worry about any papers to write. I still have about 5 more classes to go. They start back up in August and if i stick to the plan I will graduate next summer. The first person in my family to go to college and get a masters!

Mayley is growing like a weed. She is over 20lbs. and is 30 inches long! She is so tall. Her latest firsts are saying as well as singing "ugh oh" and she says mama, dada, num num, baba, and various other noises. She loves to cruz around the house and stand up everywhere. She finally stood up a few weeks ago all by herself but does not do it very often. Everyone keeps saying she will walk soon...now I say "ugh oh!" She enjoys eating baby food and real food and loves even more to spit out and smile. She has been throughing her peas off the side and then clapping. LOL

But I can handle it becasue I am nice and rested now. My little angel is sleeping through the night, from about 8 to 4, bottle, then again until 7 or 8. Lately she has been sleeping all the way through from 8-7 but I know that won't last. LOL She even takes two to three naps a day. We have a great routine going and we stick to it. It makes life much better.

She can also clap her hands, wave, and give kisses if you ask. It is the cutest thing in the world! Her favorite game is when Brad or I says, "I'm gunna get you!" and she takes off crawling and screaming as fast as she can while we chase after her groaning in pain from crawling on our knees. Ouch! Another favorite of hers is swimming. She is such a water bug. She loves to splash! She even tries to swim in the bathtub. I think she could spend all day swimming if we let her.

Another first for Mayley will be going on her very first road trip to California. We will be going to My best friends wedding in the middle of July. I can't wait to take her to the beach! She will also be going on her very first plain ride in August to see her great grandma (my gramma Lou) and all her great uncles and aunts and cousins. When we get back to Vegas she gets to meet Brad's bother and family for the very first time. It will be so neat for her to meet her three first cousins...they all look alike and are all little so they will have so much together. Then after all that Mayley will be celebrating her first birthday on August 21st! Talk about a busy first year of life!

Like I said before, this summer is packed full of firsts and we are keeping busy. For some reason a lot more work comes with firsts...I wonder what it will be like when number two comes along? Hmmmm.

Moving on up!

For those of you who don't already know, Brad has been interviewing with an engineering company called EMA for the last month. Yes, the whole month. It started with an informal lunch interview, then he had to fly out to Arizona where he he interviewed with four diffeent poeple for the whole day, then he had a 20 minute phone interview with the VP and finally he had to write a essay. I guess they want to know if he can write. Geez what a process! But it was worth it. Brad was officially hired as the project engineer for that company and starts in June. This company was looking for young new talent to eventually take over the old guys at this company. It is a possibility that Brad will move up vrey far in this company one day! Yay Brad, finally a job he might not be bored with...might.

March Madness and More

March was such a busy month for us. Mayley started crawling....and everywhere! In the same week she figured out how to pull herself up in her crib and now she loves to stand in front of the window and be the neighborhood watch. Every morning when she wakes up, she is standing in her crib with a huge smile on her face just waiting for me to come and get her. Makes my day every day. :) Mayley also got her first two teeth on the bottom. Teething was a nightmare!!! We only got a two week break and then she started teething again. It looks like the ones on top might be coming in soon. In April, we got to visit the Easter bunny. She tried to pull of his neck tie and eat it...I think she liked him. On Easter she received three stuffed bunnies from us, Uncle Drew, Great Grandma and Grampa, and a huge Easter basket from grams and grams...she's not spoiled. She also started eating like a monster this month. She can put back two step two packages of Gerber baby food and then have a bottle! She loves peas still..well she loves everything.I even started giving her those little puffs and she loves those things too. She also holding her own bottle. She can hold it, but then gives up...too much work I guess. This month Mayley also started to take baths in the big tub...she likes that too. She loves to splash! Speaking of splashing. The other day the weather was so nice we all went to the pool and Mayley got her first taste of pool water..no really she drank the water. But overall she loved being in the pool and was splashing away! And lastly I have been trying to be brave and when Mayley wakes up at her usual 2 AM time I have been letting her cry it out. She only cried for about ten minutes and then went back to sleep. I am finally after 8 months getting her to sleep from 8-4:45. She gets her bottle then and goes back to sleep until 6:30-7. I feel so much better! So worth it. So let me take a breath now....it has been a crazy two months and I'm sure it will get even crazier.