To Me, From Me With Love

Dear Ashley,

Well you did it! You've finally reached your ultimate goal of attaining your Master degree. I have to tell you I have never been more proud of you than I am at this very moment. But I feel like I need to get something off my shoulders, something you deserve to know.

You have always had big dreams and have always done your best to achieve them. People are always telling you that you are quite the dreamer. I love that about you. You are a such a free spirit; from the day you were born you have been that way. You have always been so caring and you are always putting people ahead of yourself and sometimes its to a fault but you choose to do it anyway. I love that you are a great friend and are always there to listen and give advice. And while I sit here and tell you about all these great things that make you, you are probably the most hard on yourself. It is really time girl that you held your head high and acknowledge the wonderful things you have accomplished and the beautiful person you have become. I want this to be the last time I see you cry, or tell yourself its just not good enough. I never want to see you insult the way you look or wish you were better. I know this is hard to swallow and maybe its hitting you all at one time but I just feel it is time you smile and mean it.

About six years ago you experienced a personal tragedy, one that not too many know about. But ever since that day you were different. That vibrant, free spirited confident girl was hidden in the shadows, crying in a dark corner. I almost felt like the life was sucked right out of you. Your whole outlook changed. You quit cross country your senior year of college. Running was your life. You graduated with a bachelors degree in five years, nailed your first interview and became a great first grade teacher. But that just wasn't good enough to you. You worked two years while getting your masters and then gave life to your beautiful daughter Mayley. Then you experienced those dreaded baby blues. I watched you try to give Brad every reason in the world to see that you were not wonderful but he just never fell for it. You should know he loves you more than anything. You ran 2 marathons, developed amazing friendships, had a beautiful family, started your photography business and in 3 years graduated once more with your masters....but you still felt it was just not good enough.

So its time you listen and listen to me! You have knocked yourself down for six years for something that was not your fault. It is time you put the past behind you. Life goes by way too fast and you need to spend a lot more time loving yourself and loving your life. You have been dealt an amazing hand, take advantage. Ashley I am so very proud of you for everything you have set your mind to and accomplished in your 27 years. You have worked very hard and deserve to feel proud of yourself. From this point on you will suffer no more. The ghosts from your past will not harm you, you will stand in the mirror and see a beautiful woman, a loving daughter, caring sister, trustworthy friend, a fabulous mother, and loving wife, but most importantly you will see you. The you that you have been hiding and protecting. Its okay to let her back out and live her life to the fullest. Your mother once gave you a card on your 21st birthday that said dance like no one is watching...Time to dance!

Ashley, I really do love you and you should feel proud of yourself. I don't care how confident you feel in yourself and how much you want to flaunt it, nobody can take that away from you, its not a crime. You are not a stomping mat, you are a fashion show runway. Congratulations, you're back!

Love,
 Yourself

P.S. Thank you, I really needed to hear that from you. I feel a huge weight lifted off of me. The clouds are gone and the tears I shed right now are ones of relief.